The Department of Homeland Security announced that additional instruction will be provided for applicants unable to spell their own name. Kindergarten education is no longer required.
"Human" Resources celebrates “the final step toward equality” shortly before ceasing to exist.
Tuscaloosa Republican spends decades searching for a lie, finds only the truth he didn't want
Internet Users Anoint Him "The Great Kirk", Cementing His Status As An American Martyr
After months of "hard work" and millions of dollars spent, the administration has no more things to rename.
A dedication speech, some deionized water, and a welcome center in Delaware. America's finest hour.
New MIT application requirement cuts the applicant pool in half.
A geopolitical ballad set to the tune of "I Ran" by A Flock of Seagulls.
Lee Brice Informs America That Cutting Grass Is an Act of Cultural Resistance
A Green Onion reporter takes Billie Eilish's politics literally. It did not go well.
Set the article and homepage crops separately.
Write and format the published story.
This is the site of the Delbarton Satire Club. Founded in 2025, we write satirical articles that critique sports, culture, politics, social issues, and other current affairs. We publish satire from both sides of the political spectrum.
Each article reflects its author’s perspective—not that of The Green Onion, the Satire Club, or Delbarton School.