Delbarton School · Morristown, NJEstablished 2025
Delbarton Satire Club
The Green Onion.
A STUDENT-RUN SATIRE PUBLICATIONFriday, October 16, 2026
THE GREEN ONION

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Politicsleft perspective

U.S. Strikes Iran, Loses a Fighter, Wins the Day: A Play-by-Play in Song: "Iran: A Flock of Seagulls"

A geopolitical ballad set to the tune of "I Ran" by A Flock of Seagulls.

U.S. Strikes Iran, Loses a Fighter, Wins the Day: A Play-by-Play in Song: "Iran: A Flock of Seagulls"

Launched a strike on the Hormuz

I never thought we’d detonate a school

Detonate a school


With Ayatollah atomized

Ayatollah’s son is gonna rule

Son is gonna rule

And Iran, Iran’s so far away

Just Iran, we won on the first day

We lost a fighter eh’


A nuclear apocalypse

We disagreed so we blew up their nukes

Using some B2s


Israel joined in

Let us tag-team with Bibi Netanyahu

Bibi Netanyahu

And Iran, Iran’s so far away

Just Iran, we won on the first day

Another fighter eh’


Counterattack a U.S. base

Let us go and end their history too

Their history too


Reached out for some peace again

Gas prices bad, can we have the Hormuz?

And ship some oil too?

And Iran, Iran’s so far away

Just Iran, we won on the first day

And Iran, Iran’s so far away

Just Iran, another fighter eh’

And Iran, Iran’s so far away

Just Iran, we won on the first day





Original Poem: "A Flock of Seagulls"


I walked along the avenue

I never thought I’d meet a girl like you

Meet a girl like you


With auburn hair and tawny eyes

The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through

Hypnotize me through

And I ran, I ran so far away

I just ran, I ran all night and day

I couldn’t get away


A cloud appears above your head

A beam of light comes shining down on you

Shining down on you


The cloud is moving nearer still

Aurora Borealis comes in view

Aurora comes in view

And I ran, I ran so far away

I just ran, I ran all night and day

I couldn’t get away


Reached out a hand to touch your face

You're slowly disappearing from my view

Appearing from my view


Reached out a hand to try again

I'm floating in a beam of light with you

A beam of light with you

And I ran, I ran so far away

I just ran, I ran all night and day

And I ran, I ran so far away

I just ran, I couldn't get away

And I ran, I ran so far away

I just ran, I ran all night and day




Published April 16, 2026 · SatireEmail
About The Green Onion

This is the site of the Delbarton Satire Club. Founded in 2025, we write satirical articles that critique sports, culture, politics, social issues, and other current affairs. We publish satire from both sides of the political spectrum.

Each article reflects its author’s perspective—not that of The Green Onion, the Satire Club, or Delbarton School.

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