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This is the site of the Delbarton Satire Club. Founded in 2025, we write satirical articles that critique sports, culture, politics, social issues, and other current affairs. We publish satire from both sides of the political spectrum.
Each article reflects its author’s perspective—not that of The Green Onion, the Satire Club, or Delbarton School.
Founder, President, Editor-in-Chief & CTO
Mason Zhang is the Founder, President, Editor-in-Chief, and CTO of The Green Onion. A junior at Delbarton School, he oversees all editorial and technical operations at the publication. Mason also contributes to the Delbarton Courier, with a focus on political affairs and critical literary reviews.
Teacher Moderator
Mr. Roberto Martinez is the teacher moderator of the Delbarton Satire Club. The energy and enthusiasm that he brings is what keeps our club active and thriving. Mr. Martinez is the Associate Director of Diversity and Community Belonging, the Admissions Outreach Coordinator, and a member of the Theology Department here at Delbarton.
Staff Writer
Sebastian Thomas is a mogger. Perfect jawline, perfect facial harmony, perfect symmetry, clear skin, positive canthal tilt, elite side profile. As a leading writer of the Delbarton Satire Club, Sebastian has produced several top-tier articles and earned his position in the magazine. Independently, Sebastian is an elite debater and the future Delbarton President.
Senior Editor, Operations Manager,
Atharv is the Senior Editor here at the Green Onion. A freshman, Atharv has emerged as the most prolific writer for the Delbarton Satire Club. His work sets the standard for the club, and he provides valuable input for the club's operation. Artharv is also a member of the debate team and plays basketball. He is tall af.
Founder, Staff Writer
Brady Valva is a founder, executive director, editor, and lead writer of Delbarton Satire Club. As a Junior at Delbarton School, he oversees its creative direction, editorial development, and overall operations. He also writes original satirical articles for the club, helps develop article concepts, collaborates with fellow student leaders, and contributes to the club's voice and humor-based content. He is also a track athlete, a member of the Speech and Debate Team, and really loves Minecraft and his two cats.
Staff Writer
Thomas is a junior at Delbarton School. As moderator of the Delbarton History Club (one of the largest clubs at Delby), he brings a deep understanding of the historical and political forces that shape our world.
Staff Writer
Sean "Sugar Sean" Fialcowitz is a writer for the Delbarton Satire Club. He serves as the Editor-In-Chief for the Delbarton Courier, bringing with him a vast wealth of experience, knowledge, and expertise in writing. His works have helped set the standard for the club. He is currently at Duke.
Staff Writer
Neil Van Kirk is a Staff Writer for the Delbarton Satire Club. He runs cross country and races with the Delbarton Ski Team. A founding member of the club, Neil has written prolifically for the Delbarton Satire Club, and his works have helped set the high standard for the club. He currently attends Johns Hopkins University.
Art Director, Cartoonist
Hironori Momonoi is a Cartoonist and the Art Director of the Delbarton Satire Club. Hiro specializes in illustrating satirical art and cartoons, and overseas all artistic operations within the club. As a founding member of the Green Onion, Hiro has helped define the identity of the club.
Teacher Moderator (Retired)
Mr. Bevelock is a member of the Delbarton Theology Department and the former faculty moderator of the Delbarton Satire Club. Prior to Delbarton, Mr. Bevelock had an illustrious career in both law and investment banking, founding his own law firm Bevelock & Fisher LLC. Mr. Bevelock retired in 2026 after four years at Delbarton. He continues to coach the Delbarton Mock Trial team.
