DELBARTON SCHOOL: Breaking news inside the Delbarton School campus. The biggest club, satire club, established during the 2025-2026 year by sophomores at the school, is experiencing an influx of “LARPers”, or “Leadership Attention Role Players,” who are supposedly members of the club who attempt to act like club leaders despite having little to no official authority. According to sources inside the club, the crisis began shortly after the Satire Club gained popularity. Students who had previously shown little interest in satire suddenly began appearing at meetings, allegedly looking for opportunities to “take charge” of absolutely anything. “One lanky Indian kid and his identical twin brother walked into the room and immediately started telling people what to do,” said one anonymous member. “Nobody even asked them to.” “I’ll write 10 articles and you WILL make me a leader of this club.” One of them said. The situation has become so severe that some members claim they have witnessed these LARPers attempting to establish unofficial positions such as “The Club Stress Reliever” or  “Head of Standing Around and Looking Important.” Club founders are reportedly concerned that the organization may soon become less about satire and more about people pretending to run a club. Official club leaders are thinking of rebranding the club name to “LARP club” as an official satirical movement.