I-95, NEW JERSEY: In early October of this year, Elon Musk decided to completely revolutionize the driving game. We here at the Green Onion don’t mean this figuratively, take a look at the commercial for yourself. This new Tesla model, dubbed the “roadster,” underwent a realistic highway scenario which involved driving up a ramp and jetpacking back onto the ground. Critics are now debating whether or not Musk plans to change his car or his country. What do we mean by country you may ask? Well more specifically, Musk seems to be taking a stab at our very own Interstate 95. When we interviewed an NYC taxi driver by the name of Jeremy Slider, he seemed very enthusiastic about Musk’s revolutionary ambitions. “Finally someone decided to make this country interesting. The left lane doesn’t cut it anymore man.” Jeremy later expressed his deeper childhood need to be like his favorite video game character, Yoshi. “Always dreamed of a world like this. Just the other day I used this bad boy to soar onto the next highway exit. Brings tears to my eyes brotha.” Nearly 24 hours after the interview, it was reported that Mr. Slider had gotten into an accident that involved him colliding with another roadster midair after he attempted to “ram” him out of the way, as stated by the MoTown police station. Following shortly after the incident, Musk and his team decided to release their own team statements. We are proud to announce that the Roadster has officially brought road rage to the skies,” Musk stated.