Dear Math, 

I hate you. You never make things simple! Unless, of course, I have to simplify, which is so much harder than it should be! Y does my school force me through this! I swear all these numbers are just imaginary, made up, like pi. Who needs pi? It just goes on forever and ever, so far that even our computers don’t know how long it goes for. And it’s not even edible! Looking at pi in geometry class just makes me think about the real pie, like pumpkin pie or apple pie or the evil that is blueberry pie. Then I get hungry and want pie. And here’s another thing, Math, nobody goes out and buys sixty watermelons. I don’t know where you are getting this information from, but Jerry or Bobby or Johnny are legitimately insane getting sixty watermelons. And it’s always Jerry or Bobby or Johnny, never Casanova or Polyhymnia or even Steve. Diversify your names a little bit! Get with the times! I know this might be a bit of a tangent, math, but you’re always having me find x. Did you ever consider that maybe x doesn’t want to be found, that maybe x is perfectly happy hiding amongst all the numbers and finding its own peace? Leave x alone, will you? I know my ex doesn’t want me around, so your x doesn’t want you around you either! If you ever want to hear from me again, just give me a sine. 

Yours truly - Anonymous