Delbarton School · Morristown, NJEstablished 2025
Delbarton Satire Club
The Green Onion.
A STUDENT-RUN SATIRE PUBLICATIONFriday, October 16, 2026
THE GREEN ONION

The Newsroom

Newsroom
The Green Onion • Delbarton Satire Club
TitleAuthorDateStatusActions
NameRoleActions
New Article
MEDIA

Cover image

Set the article and homepage crops separately.

Drop photo here or click to upload
or paste a URL below
Article Cover (when article is opened)
Drag to reposition  ·  scroll or slider to zoom
− + 100%
Brightness 100%
Contrast 100%
Saturation 100%
Homepage Card (thumbnail on the site)
Drag to reposition  ·  scroll or slider to zoom
− + 100%
Brightness 100%
Contrast 100%
Saturation 100%
STORY

Article body

Write and format the published story.

ARTICLE MEDIA

Place photo

✓ Published!
About The Green Onion

This is the site of the Delbarton Satire Club. Founded in 2025, we write satirical articles that critique sports, culture, politics, social issues, and other current affairs. We publish satire from both sides of the political spectrum.

Each article reflects its author’s perspective—not that of The Green Onion, the Satire Club, or Delbarton School.

THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE ONION

Meet the Staff

Sebastian Thomas

Staff Writer

Sebastian Thomas is a mogger. Perfect jawline, perfect facial harmony, perfect symmetry, clear skin, positive canthal tilt, elite side profile. As a leading writer of the Delbarton Satire Club, Sebastian has produced several top-tier articles and earned his position in the magazine. Independently, Sebastian is an elite debater and the future Delbarton President.

2 STORIES
Edit My Photo
Your photo
Drop photo here or click to upload
or paste a URL below
✓ Saved!
New Staff Member
Drop photo or click to upload
or paste a URL below
Move the slider to choose which vertical part of the photo appears on the public site.
✓ Saved!