Recently uncovered accounts have revealed the spectacular story of Randy Marsh, father of Stan Marsh, who may be one of the strongest and greatest beings to ever exist. A few months ago, Randy was an average Joe, but has recently transformed into a higher being after fighting “Bad dad,” a rival at his son’s baseball game. Before the battle, Randy admits to his wife Sharon that he was terrified of fighting Bad dad, but then something snapped inside him. Randy went to the game, squared up, and fought Bad dad with all his might. It wasn’t looking good for Randy when he was on the ground, Bad dad walking away, and he felt like giving up. But then, Randy saw a vision of his wife Sharon and his son Stan.

“I don’t know if I can take this guy Sharon,” Randy admits.

“Come on dad, get up!” Yells Stan.

“Get up Randy, Fight! Fight for me!” Sharon begs.

“Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy!” went the crowd.

After hearing all of this, Randy finds the strength he needs to climb to his feet, and spits, “Hey Bad dad, I didn’t hear no bell.”

“I assume you can figure out what happened next,” says Stan to Channel 4 News. “After that my dad changed. He went from average Joe Schmoe to one of the most powerful beings in the universe.”

Stan recollects several stories, such as him taking on multiversal threats such as Goku, the Hulk, Saitama, and even Rick Grimes to defend his honor, grow stronger, and protect civilization without humanity even knowing. Here Stan tells the story of his fight with Thragg, the strongest Viltrumite (an alien superhuman race) of all time:

“I will rip your planet to shreds!” yells Thragg. “I will kill you and prove to the world that you are nothing.”

Randy then retaliates, “This is for what? Arresting me for what? I’m not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was America! Huh? Is this America? I'm sorry I thought this was America!”

Thragg, bedazzled by what he just heard, dashes towards Randy and uppercuts him into space. Randy and Thragg then proceed to clash among the stars in an ultimate battle.

Thragg, Randy’s most formidable and evil opponent thus far, begins firing a flurry of punches at Randy. Randy barely dodges and then they both begin powering up.

“Come at me brah! Right here brah! What makes you the brah-thority brah?” yells Randy.

“I will rip your bones out!” yells Thragg.

Both finally at their peak physical form and power, clash in a battle that Stan recalls as the most mind-boggling thing that he couldn’t even see. They were moving so fast and fighting so hard that Stan could only describe the moment as “spectacular.”

Finally, after what felt like an hour, Randy fell back to the earth, the dust cleared and Stan saw Thragg walking away from a motionless Randy lying in the dirt. But Stan knew it was all a part of Randy’s plan. Randy was using his ultimate technique.

By then, a crowd had formed of Randy’s friends and family, all cheering his name and begging him to keep fighting and get up.

Just then Randy, who had dug deep and found the strength to push through the pain, miraculously stood up and said confidently, “Hey Thragg, I didn’t hear no bell.”

After that, Randy walked up to a dumbfounded Thragg, who tried to throw a punch, but Randy, who was now in his ultimate form, moved so fast he teleported behind Thragg and knocked him out with a single, precise blow to the noggin, screaming “Kee-yah!”

Present day, Randy has now gathered a large following with billions of fans looking up to him. They say he gets his strength from his never-ending will to fight, fueled by his friends and family.

Fans often compare him to the strongest villains and heroes of all time, saying that he “no-diff’s” them all. They describe him as the hero who arose from being nobody to the greatest with nothing but perseverance, persistence, and family.

Randy is a symbol for those who have lost hope, for those who have nothing to cling onto, and for all humans who want to be better.