Delbarton School · Morristown, NJEstablished 2025
Delbarton Satire Club
The Green Onion.
A STUDENT-RUN SATIRE PUBLICATIONFriday, October 16, 2026
THE GREEN ONION

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High-School Dropout Rebuilds Entire Internet Using Claude, Immediately Hits Usage Limit

Billions left offline as 19-year-old refuses to upgrade Claude plan.

High-School Dropout Rebuilds Entire Internet Using Claude, Immediately Hits Usage Limit

Tyler Brennan, a 19-year old high-school dropout, originally planning to be an AI-Dropshipper, born and raised in Columbus, Ohio, has written one singular line of code: print(“Hello World”) in python. On Sunday he announced to his X (Twitter) page that he had rebuilt the entire observable internet over one weekend using Claude, after typing the prompt “make the internet on my localhost, make no mistakes.”

The new internet, which Tyler named “Internet 2 [NEW] [UPDATED] [BESTEST]” went live on a vibecoded vercel.app website at 3:14 P.M on Sunday morning replacing the old one. Google, YouTube, Wikipedia and every other website now run on about 4.2 million lines of code that no one has ever read, including Tyler.

“I read the first line,” Tyler said. “It said import. I trust it.”

Since the launch, users around the world have noticed a few changes. Every website is now in dark mode with a purple gradient and rounded corners, looking heavily vibe-coded by the average 12-year-old trying to build a website to ‘crack into IB’. The passwords for every account on Earth are currently stored in one file called passwords_FINAL_v2.txt on Tyler’s desktop, amassing approximately 1.5 TB.

The biggest problem so far is that the whole internet shuts down every five hours whenever Tyler hits his Claude usage limit. This Monday, roughly 5.4 billion people opened their phones to a message that read “Usage limit reached. Resets at 4:00 PM.” Banks, airlines, and like a hundred seventh grade classes in the middle of a Blooket were forced to just sit there and wait it out.

Our reporters stopped to ask him, “How does any of it actually work?” He replied back, “I mean, it’s Claude’s Plan, yuh Claude’s Plan. Anyway, I don’t really need to know, that’s kind of the whole point lil bro.”

Our news sources reported that the original internet took over 50 years and millions of engineers to build, so this is complete bogus. Linda Powell, 58, a senior software engineer who has been coding since 1991, said “I spent thirty years learning how to do this. He did it on a weekend on his mom’s credit card. I’m going to quit now.”

Tyler confirmed he spent $3,800 in API credits on that credit card, which his mom found out about on Tuesday. His mom, Denise Brennan, said “I don’t know what an API is but I AM GOING TO KILL HIM IF HE STEPS FOOT IN THIS HOUSE.”

Big tech has been heavily shaken as well. Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg said, “We spent twenty years building Facebook and this kid rebuilt it in three Claude sessions. Honestly he has fewer bugs, but we have PRIDE. And PRIDE is what humanity needs nowadays.” Even OpenAI’s CEO spoke out, saying “Why Claude though? We literally have Codex. Why does nobody ever use Codex for this, we know our usage limits suck, but we literally have GPT-6?”

“So I’m paying $80 a month for Wi-Fi to use for some kid’s weekend project?” said a user on Facebook. “Absurd.” A commenter on Reddit wrote “I could’ve built this in a weekend,” which, to be fair, is exactly what happened.

When asked what was next, Tyler said “the internet was honestly kind of easy, so I’m thinking of the U.S. government next, it’s basically just a website with more steps, but I am probably going to upgrade to Claude Max before I do that.”

Currently, Tyler Brennan has refused to comment any further because he has hit his weekly limit. He says he will be back Thursday.

Published October 12, 2026 · SatireEmail
About The Green Onion

This is the site of the Delbarton Satire Club. Founded in 2025, we write satirical articles that critique sports, culture, politics, social issues, and other current affairs. We publish satire from both sides of the political spectrum.

Each article reflects its author’s perspective—not that of The Green Onion, the Satire Club, or Delbarton School.

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